Forgive in order to be forgiven

By Gary Mimbs

At a convention with their wives, two businessmen who had been roommates in college crossed paths. They sat in the lobby all night talking. They knew they would be in trouble with their wives for coming home late. The next day they happened to see each other. “What did your wife say?” one of the men asked. The other man replied, “I walked in the door and she got HISTORICAL.” Don’t you mean hysterical?” “No Historical. She told me everything I ever did wrong.”

Have you ever met people like that? The ones who seem to rehash the past forever? The ones who seem to live in their memories more than in the present? The ones who can’t seem to get past some issue, some hang-up, some roadblock in their past? It is as if they are still chained to something years ago.

Let’s take a look at forgiveness. Now forgiveness really exists on two main levels: Forgiveness from God to us and forgiveness from us to others. Most of us rejoice in the first and stumble in the second. We are glad that the Lord forgives us from our sins and failures. But we are troubled when we know that we need to forgive someone else.

Maybe our trouble is not when we know we need to forgive, it is when we think that we don’t have to forgive. After all, this is one of those things that you’re wishing someone else was reading. It’s someone else’s problem, not yours. Someone else is bitter; someone else has a problem, but not you. You are OK. You’re allowed to be bitter, fester and stew. You’re allowed to hold a grudge because of what happened to you. And if I knew what happened to you I wouldn’t expect you to forgive anyone.

It’s true that I don’t know what has happened to you. But I know that Jesus does know all about it. I also know what he has said about forgiveness. So this message isn’t from a pastor; it is from the Lord. This isn’t my opinion but the word of God. I mention forgiveness today for a few reasons:

1. Unforgiveness is more subtle than most sins. It is sneaky in that it crawls into your spirit so gently, so innocently that you don’t even know its there until it really has you.

2. Unforgiveness is more common than most sins. We all battle it from time to time. Even though we may not struggle over the “bigger” sins, a lack of forgiveness seems to affect more of us.

3. Unforgiveness is more dangerous. It may not cause overdoses and car accidents, but it will divide churches, families, marriages and even nations. Unforgiveness has been called the cancer of the soul. Unchecked, it will eat us alive.

There are basically three levels if forgiveness:

1. I have received forgiveness from God – you do this by trusting Jesus.

2. Have you experienced forgiveness? Has your heart broken as you count God’s great love and mercy toward you? This should lead to tenderness toward others.

3. Are you sharing forgiveness? This will set you free from the prison of carrying a grudge and an unforgiving spirit.

Forgiveness always brings out the best in a person but unforgiveness brings out the worst in a person in the form of revenge and a critical spirit. To harbor a hateful spirit will put you in prison. The ironic thing is that you think that you are hurting others but you are really only hurting yourself.

In closing I heard this thought a long time ago. Holding onto an offense against someone is like being a jailer, while the offending party is in jail. You’re keeping them in there. You have the key to let them out but you won’t because of what they did to you. The problem is, since you are the jailer, you are stuck there too. Oh, the person might be behind the bars, but you can’t go anywhere either. The only way to set your self free is by letting them go too. Will you let someone go free today? Will you turn the key? Will you forgive?

Jesus said a lot about forgiveness in the Bible. One of the strongest verses is in Matthew 6:14: “If you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men then your Father will NOT forgive your transgressions.”

Is there anyone you hate and cannot forgive bad enough for it to send you to hell? Jesus was the perfect example of forgiveness when on the cross He said:, “Father forgive them.” He was speaking of people who had beat him, cursed him, tortured him and ultimately killed him. Yet he was able to forgive all of that and more. How about you?

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