Domestic violence abuse survivor offers hope

Today, Olga Trujillo can say she’s had a successful career as an attorney, U.S. Department of Justice employee and professional speaker.

But in the 1960s when Trujillo was a small child, she was a victim who during periods of her life was raped daily by her father, brothers and various other males who paid her father to abuse her, she said.

Trujillo detailed much of her life story and what she’s learned as a victim of domestic violence at the sixth annual Domestic Violence Conference at Dalton State College on Friday. Trujillo, who is now president of her own consulting company, lives in Wisconsin but has a Puerto Rican background.

She said a combination of factors led to the abuse continuing from at least the time she was 3 years old, through her adolescence and into adulthood. Yet a kind Latino neighbor and several teachers at the Catholic school she attended in the Washington, D.C., area helped remind her even during those terrible times that there were still people who loved her and cared about her, she said.

Information on how many domestic violence cases occur in Whitfield and Murray counties each year wasn’t immediately available, but conference organizer Lynn Cabe said she wants to gather it.

“We probably in Whitfield County handle several hundred domestic violence cases a year,” said District Attorney Bert Poston. “(There are probably) somewhat less in Murray County.”

Cabe said 180 people were signed up for the conference. For the many mental health professionals in attendance, the conference satisfied mandatory periodic training. For others, the conference was a voluntary educational experience.

Clinical social worker Suzanne Timms came up from Cobb County and said she works there with perpetrators of domestic violence.

“Most of the people have experienced it (sexual abuse) in their own childhood,” Timms said, adding that Trujillo’s story helped shed some light on the kinds of issues they were likely facing as adults. “One of the impacts on children is they never learn to problem solve.”

Trujillo said her journey has been a long one, but it isn’t all bad. She said a neighbor who cared for her before she was old enough to go to school offered constant love and kindness, but when the woman, who was in her 70s at the time, grew so concerned for the family that she confronted the father, Trujillo’s father struck the woman and cut her off from the family. From that time on, Trujillo said, she determined never to tell anyone what was happening for fear of losing them, she said.

At age 7, Trujillo said, she learned in school about the police and decided to call them when her father was being violent toward her mother one night. The police came, but they couldn’t understand her father, who spoke only Spanish, and they had trouble understanding her mother through her thick Puerto Rican accent, Trujillo said. She said that when her mother became angry at her for calling the cops, she made up a story — said she had just learned about the police in school and only wanted to see if they would really come. The officers took her story and left.

Over time, she said, beginning from the first time she can remember being raped at age 3 until adulthood, she learned to dissociate. When someone was violent toward her or she suffered from other problems, she imagined she was looking from the outside at someone else being abused. It was a coping mechanism that helped her get through, she said.

Her father died before she left home, and she said she doesn’t remember any of the children being distraught about it. They were more disappointed they weren’t able to go out trick-or-treating since he died on Halloween, she said.

Yet Trujillo said she continued to be abused by many people even as an adult because she eventually lost her spirit to fight back, and perpetrators picked up on the fact she would be an easy victim. She said she eventually finished law school, got married and went through years of therapy.

“Despite growing up that way, I have a very full and very happy life, and I’m not that unusual,” she said. “This is part of who I am, but it is not all of who I am.”

Also at the conference, organizers honored two people they said were instrumental in helping achieve justice for domestic violence victims or caring for them in other ways. Whitfield County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Rick Swiney received the Jackie Williams Criminal Justice Award while Sue Jordan of the Northwest Georgia Family Crisis Center received the Betty Higgins Domestic Violence Victim Advocate Award.

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Domestic violence abuse survivor offers hope

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